Where in the future does the past fit?

Through the trials I've been through I've been told many things. Most I know are just because people don't know what to say. But they are still really hard to hear, even though they are saying it to try to make me feel better. One I get a lot is, "time heals everything." I have to call this out. That is NOT true. Time does not heal everything, what you do in that time does. That statement suggests all you have to do is wait. If only it were that easy. This time of year is really really hard for me. No matter what it is or what were doing all I can think about is the Christmas 4 years ago. When we get a tree, all I can think about is the one we got without my brother because he was getting blood at the hospital. When we open presents all I can think about is the one left, under the tree, never to be opened because it was found too late. As much as you want to remember the good things in the past, the bad things are always more vivid. I know very well you can't just "get over" the past or "move one." You have to learn how to let go of somethings and other things you have to fit in without allowing them to take over. I'm still working on living in today not 4 years ago. For me, right now my biggest hope of that are the new people in my life, the ones I hope to make memories with. But now, even 4 years later I'm still trying to figure out where the past fits.